Spiritually Stalking the Self

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A thousand year old Indigenous Warrior Way to a life in peace

The spot under the old Texas Ash tree is taken. His spot for years. Irritated, he parks his car in the only place left. No shade, temperatures in the low nineties.

But before he leaves his car, his irritation melts away. A smile grows on his face. “Now that is what I call a fast delivery. It was only yesterday that I asked the Spirits, to teach me about ego.

My spot?”

We asked for an example, and we got one in this class on Spiritually Stalking the Self.  I smile too, for I like the story. It shows me what he means in a way that I can remember.

Stalking the Self, our teacher Hal Robinson explains, is actively scanning yourself for self-pity or feeling sorry, self-indulgence, fear-thoughts about the future and judgements. The Big Four Voices of one’s Shadow Side. You knock on your own door every time you notice you’re doing it.

For a thousand years men and women have stalked their Shadow Side thoughts. Refusing them a place at their table. Refusing them to be true. They do so because those voices have impact. When you judge, feel sorry for yourself, want to win a conversation, you throw away good energy. And in return, stress hormones start a dance in your body.

The blood vessels around your heart tighten. Your blood pressure rises. Your brain shifts to survival mode: which shrinks its neuroplasticity. Less capable to learn. Less capable to connect. To see options. You step away from health.That is not only an intriguing thousand year old wisdom. Western science confirms it.

So Spirit Stalkers smile when they catch themselves being judgmental.  The spirits have put something on their path they will benefit from.  Energy lost to certain thoughts can be released for better use. Stepping towards health is within reach.

Stalkers simply sit with the judgment. Acknowledge that they have a thought.  They are not interested in the Why. They look for the What and the How. What happens within me when I have this judgement? What emotions do I have? Where do I feel this in my body?

What energy am I giving away? And how can I get that energy back? And then they breath. That leads to a different dance of hormones. Other emotions. Other physical feelings.  Gives Mind room to connect.

Wondering how this works for me, I get served on the spot. There is a thing that irritates me in this class. There is an overload of thankfulness and feelings of bless in the contributions. Ja, ja , ja, I notice myself thinking. Feeling it physically near my heart. It draws my energy away from learning.

So I sit with it. And breath. And watch Shtizel. Seeing doorsteps being kissed prior to entering. Water blessed with a prayer before drinking.

And notice that seeing that feels pleasant. Gives a smile. Makes me realize I may have lost my touch with gratitude.

‘The irritation has left’, I tell my teacher. ‘I guess you’d better say: You let go.’ 


Stalking myself: I am interested.

With gratitude for the teachings of Hal Robinson:)


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